Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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