You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
