Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
