If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Randomize
