She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
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