Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
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