When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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