4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
