Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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