they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
