home. puking in laundry basket.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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