In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
are you so shy because you have an std?
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
