we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
