Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Randomize