Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
