Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Randomize
