Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
