Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(419): View more from Ohio

I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...

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(801): View more from Utah

She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.

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(906): View more from Michigan

The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.

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(330): View more from Ohio

he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.

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(952): View more from Minnesota

Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.

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(212): View more from New York

Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?

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(248): View more from Michigan

He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.

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(727): View more from Florida

Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am

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(712): View more from Iowa

Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful

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