I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
where are my eyebrows?
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