Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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