Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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