Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
