Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
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