Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
