dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize