Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
