i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
It's rum buckets o'clock
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Randomize
