super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize