the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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