Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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