wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
you never un-have a 4some
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
