Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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