Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
