What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
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