I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
