Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
