Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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