So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize