I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
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