If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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