why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
love makes seman taste better
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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