Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
