I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
