so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
