Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
is wine microwaveable?
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
