It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
