I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
dude. I can hear the air.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
