Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
