Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
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