i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
