Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
