I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
