What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
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