Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
