So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Ketchup is God's man juice
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
