What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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