Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I wish I could punch you in the face.
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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