I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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