well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
