so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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